Just a reminder to anyone following this blog that while I’m not really posting here anymore, I do still post/reblog things at creepy-eyes.tumblr.com, which is more or less an art blog at this point. Just a place where I can post either my own artwork, or art/design that I find interesting or as a source of artistic inspiration.
My current lifestyle can’t be healthy. Stay up all night, sleep at every opportunity during the day, and barely eat? Its been a rough few days. Also, does anyone even still read this blog? Not that I’m saying anything interesting anymore anyway.
I feel like so much has changed. I feel like I’m not really the same person I was two or three years ago, which kind of sucks because I really liked that version of me. Not that there’s anything wrong with the current me, but I feel like people liked that version of me more. Or that the version of me was more interesting to people. I don’t know. Some of my closest friends seem to have drifted away, and I feel like I’ve gone from being the trustworthy likable almost Mr Rogers-y person I was to just being a regular person. I guess what I’m saying is I feel gray, as though I no longer have anything interesting to bring to the table.
I had a good time visiting my girlfriend this weekend for her surprise party that she totally knew about. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow though, when I’ll have to do a bunch of projects due monday. Oy vey, the corners I back myself into.
This can’t be good for my health. Or my sleep schedule. What am I doing wrong that has forced me into this lifestyle so soon in the school year? Probably because I take 5 hour long naps in the middle of the day and do my laundry at 10 at night and forget about it until 6 in the morning.
Right now, I’m listening Fjogur Piano by Sigur Ros, and something about how sleepy I am, and engaging in the age old activity of updating this tumblr, makes it sound really beautiful to me. It puts me in the mood that a lot of things aren’t ok right now, and that they might not even ever get better, but somehow none of that matters. There is still some good in this world, and we must hold on to it and never let go no matter little of it we may be able to see.
That’s how Fjogur Piano makes me feel. Nostalgic and sad and happy like I’ve lost something but that it’s ok that’s its gone even though I’ll miss it.
Well, it hasn’t even been a full week of classes yet and I’m already pulling my first all-nighter. I have class in 90 minutes now. IT was worth it to go to my girlfriends party though. I just wish I had infinite time to get everything done, because pulling all-nighters in no way to live.
Went back home today to get ready for my girlfriend’s birthday party. Going home ended up taking forever, because I had to take a total of three trains and also walk through an entire town since neither of my parents were available to pick me up at the station. I’m excited about tomorrow though, should be a good time!
I started doing some work in my studio class today. I was using a new program (by choice) called Maya instead of the usual 3DS max. It’s funny, I know how to do more things in 3DS max, but people in the industry prefer Maya and I’m actually finding it to be somewhat more intuitive. My goal is to eventually “get” Maya the way I “get” photoshop, because if I can accomplish that I will be unstoppable.
I’m working on making this really cool picture for my girlfriend for her birthday, but for some reason for the first time in my life photoshop is not cooperating with me. Granted, I’m attempting things that one shouldn’t really do using photoshop, but all the same it should work and I don’t entirely know why it doesn’t. Something about it saving the alpha channels of images, idk.
I had my first class today, it wasn’t too bad, which is good. The professor seems fairly approachable. I also got my lab computer today, which is good because it means I’m not screwed over for my classes.
So, today was my first full day in the dorm. I attempted to make eggs, and while I didn’t burn them I ended up cooking the yolk even though I wanted a runny yolk, so that kind of sucked. I walked around, talked to people, and actually went to Ikea with my roommates to try and get a futon, although they were out of the actual futon frame that we need. It was a good day, although I’m still very much dreading the real start of the semester.
Finally moved into my new dorm. I’m kind of sad to have left, although I’m definitely glad to be with my college friends again, and my new dorm is pretty cool. This coming semester frightens me though, as I can already tell the workload is going to be astronomical.
Today was my last day in Cinnaminson before I return to school. I had a really nice night just hanging out with my friends, and I just finished working on a glitch art poster that I want to hang on the door(s) to my dorm room. I hate the “print stuff out” stage though, as colors always seem to get lost when printing things out.
I kind of feel unfulfilled by this summer though. I feel like there was a lot more I could have done, if only I had had more time. Of course, the time I have is the time I have, but I wish I had more of it.
I had a money market account with over $2000 in it, and I emptied it and closed it and wells fargo took two weeks two write and send the check, and now that its finally here it turns out they messed up by including a line on the check saying I’m a minor so I’m not allowed to deposit the check. So now we’re making wells fargo issue a new corrected check without that, but in the mean time why would they do that to me? They know how old I am. I’m not a minor. It’s legal robbery is what it is.
Today was really good. Work was ok. Then I passed out on my couch for an hour. Next I went to a friends house and watched a little of ironman three, then I went on to have an amazing night going to this diner in a nearby town with friends and we were there for hours and we laughed and talked and joked and made friends with the waitress and everything was wonderful. If there’s a heaven, it is filled with nights like this one.
I’ve had an absolute awful headache all day, which I am choosing to blame on getting little sleep. I’ve also made some progress on my project, which is good. i wish I could just be done with it, though.
I’m not getting enough sleep. Worth it tonight though, played lazer tag and watched the extended version of Return of the King with my girlfriend who had never seen it before. I’m glad she liked it. But I’m not glad I need to wake up in three hours.
Its about time I got to work again on that project I got an extension on. I’ve started it, which is nice. But its hard to balance school, work, a relationship, and my friends. Especially during summer, when all I care about is being social.
Why have I stayed up this late? This was not wise.
I’m really sorry I haven’t been updating my tumblr a lot. I feel like I’m failing the people reading this, if there are any. This blog used to be interesting. There used to be substance. But I feel like all of that is gone now. Is it because my life is less interesting now? I don’t feel like talking about these things anymore?
This blog has really taken a turn for the worse in terms of quality. Is it because I post later at night? Is it because I don’t have anything to say anymore? Do I no longer need the emotional outlet? Do I still need the outlet but this blog can no longer help?
Spent the weekend with my girlfriend. On friday we went to philly with my friends, then saturday I went to a party of one of her friends and then had dinner with her family, and then the next day we visited her grandmother with alzheimers and then had dinner with her family again.
I do feel kind of weird with meeting her entire extended family with little warning, she hasn’t even met the entirety of my immediate family. But they also bought me a steak and then a lobster dinner, so I can’t complain.
I really like taking the morning shift at work. Yes, it sucks that I can’t sleep in, but there’s a ton of other advantages. Almost no one comes in during the first hour or so. I can just chill in the back and do whatever I want. If something crazy needs to be done, I have more than 2 hours to take care of it. When I go home, I can take a nap!
I finally got to see the apartment two of my friends have together. It’s a really nice space and area, I really hope I’m able to find similar accommodations in the somewhat near future (like, say next five years.)
What did I do today? Worked, picked up our car from the repair shop with my dad (the person at the register was totally incompetent, couldn’t figure out how his own register worked.) Also wrote more for D&D stuff. I’m getting close to being done, which is exciting! I want to go send my friends on adventures through the world I’ve made, enjoy the beaches of Fuligrem, explore the caverns beneath Monadh, brave through the ruins of Solorum!
I didn’t really do all that much today. I ordered some sushi for me and my brother for lunch, and saw the new wolverine movie with him and my dad at night. It was pretty good, but ultimately nothing all that special.
Today was a really good day; I went on a road trip with my friends to this arcade where you paid $15 and got free access to all of the games within the store. This included all sorts of all arcade games as well as plenty of console games as well. I even got to play the mythological Atari ET game that almost killed gaming (it was awful, although given some time I did begin to understand its strange mechanics.) Afterwards we all went to a diner and then I drove for a super long time in order to drop some people off at their houses, and now I am super tired.
So, my mom is giving me a sort of curfew now? In that I need to go to bed by 2 and wake up by noon every day or else no more car. Which doesn’t actually sound bad, but its not terribly compatible with how I’ve been living my life. Spent wednesday night and today with my girlfriend; went walking around by this water reservoir with a lot of forest around it and explored some trails back behind it.
DIdn’t do much today except go to a friends house for a party, where I mostly just hung out with people for a few hours. When I went home I couldn’t sleep, the power was out and I was worrying about the fact that I haven’t checked my school email in over a month and I have no idea when my tuition is due. The power came back on and it says I still owe $0, so that’s put my mind at ease for the moment.