I need a hug.
I need a hug.
My current lifestyle can’t be healthy. Stay up all night, sleep at every opportunity during the day, and barely eat? Its been a rough few days. Also, does anyone even still read this blog? Not that I’m saying anything interesting anymore anyway.
I feel like so much has changed. I feel like I’m not really the same person I was two or three years ago, which kind of sucks because I really liked that version of me. Not that there’s anything wrong with the current me, but I feel like people liked that version of me more. Or that the version of me was more interesting to people. I don’t know. Some of my closest friends seem to have drifted away, and I feel like I’ve gone from being the trustworthy likable almost Mr Rogers-y person I was to just being a regular person. I guess what I’m saying is I feel gray, as though I no longer have anything interesting to bring to the table.
Ugggggggh I am pulling so many all nighters. Its awful. I get the work done, but at what cost?
I had a good time visiting my girlfriend this weekend for her surprise party that she totally knew about. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow though, when I’ll have to do a bunch of projects due monday. Oy vey, the corners I back myself into.
Today was kind of a do nothing day. Just go to class, turn in my work, and then detox from this past week.
This can’t be good for my health. Or my sleep schedule. What am I doing wrong that has forced me into this lifestyle so soon in the school year? Probably because I take 5 hour long naps in the middle of the day and do my laundry at 10 at night and forget about it until 6 in the morning.
Right now, I’m listening Fjogur Piano by Sigur Ros, and something about how sleepy I am, and engaging in the age old activity of updating this tumblr, makes it sound really beautiful to me. It puts me in the mood that a lot of things aren’t ok right now, and that they might not even ever get better, but somehow none of that matters. There is still some good in this world, and we must hold on to it and never let go no matter little of it we may be able to see.
That’s how Fjogur Piano makes me feel. Nostalgic and sad and happy like I’ve lost something but that it’s ok that’s its gone even though I’ll miss it.
Finally after a long day of classes that were actually not as bad as I anticipated, I can finally go to sleep. Hallelujah! Praise the lord! Sleep at last!
Well, it hasn’t even been a full week of classes yet and I’m already pulling my first all-nighter. I have class in 90 minutes now. IT was worth it to go to my girlfriends party though. I just wish I had infinite time to get everything done, because pulling all-nighters in no way to live.
Went back home today to get ready for my girlfriend’s birthday party. Going home ended up taking forever, because I had to take a total of three trains and also walk through an entire town since neither of my parents were available to pick me up at the station. I’m excited about tomorrow though, should be a good time!
I started doing some work in my studio class today. I was using a new program (by choice) called Maya instead of the usual 3DS max. It’s funny, I know how to do more things in 3DS max, but people in the industry prefer Maya and I’m actually finding it to be somewhat more intuitive. My goal is to eventually “get” Maya the way I “get” photoshop, because if I can accomplish that I will be unstoppable.